To someone considering suicide. Please read this before you think any further… I looked into the angelic face of my little girl watching a father/daughter dance at a wedding where she was the flower girl. She stood on the outside of the cleared dance floor. I couldn’t help but turn away as the ache in my… Read More What You Leave Behind: To the Person who Considers Suicide
Milestones are days and events that we hold in our minds and in our hearts as special or memorable. Some milestones are celebratory because of the rich history and memories that have been passed down to us for hundreds and even thousands of years. Some are given to us as a part of our personal… Read More Milestones
To my precious and beautiful children: I know your daddy is gone, but I want you to understand a few things. He loved you. He prayed every day for you. He wanted you and dreamed for you. He may not be here, but he will always be a part of you. Remember that and be… Read More The Father to the Fatherless: A Letter to My Children
This post doesn’t have words of wisdom but simply thoughts from experience. I am no expert on grief. Honestly, I didn’t truly understand it in its intensity until I lost my husband, Eric. Head knowledge and heart knowledge are two very distinctive things. I could see it and grasp it, but to have someone ripped… Read More Sackcloth and Ashes: Processing Grief
My husband Eric had a tattoo that covered most of his right forearm. It said זמן לחפש את הלורד which means “Time to seek the Lord” in Hebrew. The tattoo was an intricate drawing of an hourglass with beautiful details throughout it. It was a tool to share the gospel with others. At the bottom… Read More The Missing Piece: Making Sense out of Suicide
I have sat down many times at this exact computer to write my sweet husband’s story. Our story has been a dance between moments of great joy laced with the painful times of deep sorrow. My husband’s heart was to share his story to help others. His prayer was to use his past hurt, past… Read More Eric’s Story
Today I met with my counselor. For the first time, I was scared walking through the doors. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as I took a deep breath and went in. I had no idea what would come out of me in that room. Would I sit in silence? Would I just lose… Read More The Counseling Session
I began sorting through my husband’s things today. I can honestly say that everyday is hard. One day doesn’t trump the other. Everyday has its extremely difficult moments mixed in with the beautiful moments of laughter as we remember him. As I was sorting through his belongings I began making piles: what would he want… Read More Yellow Plaid Shirt
It’s the little things. Like a text in the morning, a friend stopping by, a hug from a stranger who knew my husband, or a simple “praying for you.” I couldn’t seem to get myself to church today. I did get out of bed though because Joah has pink eye, so off to the doctor… Read More The Little Things
