To the father who my children will always know,

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Happy Father’s Day! You are not here with us, but your legacy carries on through two pretty remarkable tiny humans.

Joah is hilarious. He smiles often and makes people laugh. He flirts from across the room with his big brown eyes. He’s sensitive, which I adore, because he cares about others. He likes cars and trucks and is fascinated by the sounds that they make. He loves to sing. His compellation of ‘Jesus Loves Me’ and ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ would surprise and amaze you at the same time. He is everything we wanted and more.

Selah is so smart. She talks non-stop. She has a servant’s heart and is always wanting to help. Her smile warms my heart and brings sunshine into the room. Her sassiness keeps me very busy. Every minute she is awake, she is usually dancing. She has her own song in her head and I can only imagine it as a sweet gift from the Lord. Life is new and exciting everyday with her.

You would be so proud of them. You were a great dad in so many ways. It’s important to let you know that they will always know you. They may not remember your voice or the way your scratchy beard made them laugh, but they will know you in little things that flicker in their minds throughout the day. They will know you from the stories they hear, and they will know that you were a dad who took time with them even though your time was short.

I have no idea what our life will look life in the days to come, but we will continue moving forward knowing that our Father holds us tightly in His arms and that the same Father literally holds you as I sit and write this. So, we live in hope that, though we are world’s a part, we are closer than we know.

To my two ‘abundantly more’s’,

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Father’s day is a tough one.

I feared this day. The birthdays nor the anniversaries worried me as much as this day. A mother’s love is fierce. It carries with it the strength of a hurricane and pulls in like the waves of a tide when she fears her child may experience one inch of pain. It’s an overwhelming feeling. I’ve dreaded this day for weeks now. Though it may not affect you today, I know what lies ahead. I can’t protect you from it and that absolutely takes my breath away. I want to save you from the ache of the feelings you will experience on days like this. I want to shelter you in this storm, but I know that I can’t. Father’s Day without your father will be hard. It will be gut wrenching, confusing, and there will be a space in your heart that may not be filled completely in this lifetime.

Yet, here’s what I can do: I can love you. I can pray for you. I can be here for you and I can always point you to the ONE who can do all of these things and more.

You will one day question why a good God allowed this to happen to you- and that’s okay. Feeling God’s presence and goodness in the midst of His silence is a tough thought to grasp. Please know that, even in the silence and confusion, He is here. He sits beside you and His love covers you. Though you will feel the heartache, you will not be alone. Though you will wrestle against the winds and waves, He will be your calm in the middle of it. Every night I pray that you will know Him. Every day I hope you’ll feel His presence. And today, though your hearts are learning and your eyes can only comprehend a momentary view, I pray that you will grow strong and your faith will grow stronger. For days like this, you will need your anchor. You will need your Heavenly Father.

To the fathers who are here,

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I want to take the opportunity to encourage you. From a widow, who lost her husband and is now the sole parent to two amazing children, I want you to know that you matter in the lives of your kids. I know you work so hard to provide, to be strong, and to do things right. I’m aware of the stress that men face from day to day. I want to remind you that your children need you. Children don’t need your perfection or performance; they need your presence. I wish every day that my kids had their father. I want them to be tickled and wrestled with. I want them to be thrown up in the air and to be read stories at night. Although I will be doing all of these things with them, a father’s presence in their lives matters more than you know. You are their hero, their confidant, their biggest fan, and their foundation. I don’t say these things to put pressure on you, I say these things to speak truth to you. You may not see their need to have you in their lives, but I can tell you as I look into the eyes of my own, they need you. Even if you’re a mess and struggling, they need you for who you are in this very moment. So, today and everyday go kiss and hug your children, love them unconditionally, be there for them, talk to them, and always speak truth to them. Let them know that they are brave and strong and that you love them; and that God loves them. If you’re exhausted after a day’s work, find a little extra energy to throw them in the air or to hold them in your arms. We are not promised tomorrow. The love of a father is like no other. Be present today. Happy Father’s Day.