Today I sat in church, alone in a pew by myself. I sang, prayed, and listened to the Word being preached. However, today I felt different. My thoughts were drawn and fixated on the large wooden cross standing on the corner of the stage. Today is Palm Sunday, which begins a week of reflection and celebration as we remember what Jesus Christ did for us.
The cross seemed to stare down at me and it felt so much closer and meaningful than it had before. I found myself wanting to walk towards it and humbly bow at the foot of that cross and weep. It is different this year. I am not a staff wife or serving in a particular area. Usually, I would be too busy helping that I wouldn’t stop to notice the cross standing in the corner. I wouldn’t stop and feel so drawn to it. I would merely see it in passing and be thankful for it. Now, as I look at it, I want to simply sit in silence and bow to the One who gave us life. The solidity of what Christ gave us that day is more real than ever before to me. Perhaps having lost someone who is so very dear to me helps me understand to a greater degree that the gospel message is undeniable and true. My husband stands with the King of kings right now because of what Jesus sacrificed. He stands tall, clean, forgiven, and beautiful. Jesus has him now because Jesus saved him on a cross similar to the one I see in front of me. Jesus gave His life so that my imperfect husband and all of us broken followers will someday experience a glorious eternity in heaven. Jesus suffered so that I can stand here today and know that my husband Eric is in heaven singing Hosanna face to face to the Son of God.
Easter looks different this year. There is something honestly beautiful about being so shattered and raw at the foot of the cross. When everything seems stripped from you, His redemption stands there. It stands there directly in front of me, providing me the confidence that I am forgiven, loved and held in the deepest depths of my brokenness. It’s in our brokenness that we can see the true power of the cross.
The cross–not just the place where Jesus died but the place where Jesus saved–the place where Jesus said “it is finished” and changed the world forever–the place He saw me at my worst and loved me enough to say, “I can endure one more minute.” And then those minutes turned to hours–hours of pain and suffering–all for me–all for you.
Death makes living more real. Christ died so that we can live (abundantly). He sacrificed His life so that I can stand here today in my desperation and have hope, because of what He did this week thousands of years ago. So this year, I will celebrate with more passion than before. I will lift my hands in my weakness because I know that Easter is not just a Sunday to remember-it is a Sunday to live and to keep on living. It is the representation that reminds me of how holy He really is and how unbelievably thankful I am.
So, wherever you are this Easter—whether it be on the stage singing or preaching—whether it be back in the nursery loving on our kids or in your home (if you can’t make it to church)—whether you are on the back pew where you barely got through the doors and slipped in–stop to be still. Stop to think and reflect on that cross and on the sacrifice that Jesus made for you, for me, and for our loved ones who now stand in glory. It is a busy time, but it is also a time to celebrate what has been given to us through the pain and through the glory to which this week points.
These words spoke undeniable truth to me this year. I hope they do the same for you.
At the Cross: Chris Tomlin
There’s a place where mercy reigns
And never dies
There’s a place where streams of grace
Flow deep and wide
Where all the love I’ve ever found
Comes like a flood
Comes flowing down
At the cross, at the cross
I surrender my life
I’m in awe of You
I’m in awe of You
Where Your love ran red
And my sin washed white
I owe all to You
I owe all to You, Jesus
There’s a place where sin and shame
Are powerless
Where my heart has peace with God
And forgiveness
Where all the love I’ve ever found
Comes like a flood
Comes flowing down
At the cross, at the cross
I surrender my life
I’m in awe of You
I’m in awe of You
Where Your love ran red
And my sin washed white
I owe all to You
I owe all to You
Here my hope is found
Here on holy ground
Here I bow down
Here I bow down
Here arms open wide
Here You save my life
Here I bow down
Here I bow
At the cross, at the cross
I surrender my life
I’m in awe of You
I’m in awe of You
Where Your love ran red
And my sin washed white
I owe all to You
I owe all to You, Jesus
Krissie, Each morning, I remember you and your sweet babies in my prayer time. And I remember Eric. I cannot imagine what you are feeling as each new day dawns without the love of your life beside you, as you face whatever is coming your way with your precious babies, without their Daddy to help you. I don’t even know what to pray, but to ask God to keep you close at His side as you walk this path He has for you. I love these blog posts and how you are–even in your own incredible pain and doubt–ministering to others. Know that you are much loved, not only by the triune God, but by so many of His servants here below.
Oh Krissie, how I feel this. I lost my sweet mama in 2007, and my daddy 3 years later. It has always been different for me since losing them. I can close my eyes and picture them standing close to Jesus. Even though at times, a memory hits me & takes my breath away, I know that they are in heaven singing and rejoicing at the feet of Jesus. I have never in my life felt such a yearning for Christ to return. Jesus paid it all for us! Hallelujah – We get to spend eternity in heaven with those we love that have gone on before us. Thank you Jesus! And until Christ’s return, we will keep pressing on, sharing our stories & worshipping God, even on the hardest of days.
“There is something honestly beautiful about being so shattered and raw at the foot of the cross. When everything seems stripped from you, but His redemption stands there. It stands there directly in front of me, providing me the confidence that I am forgiven, loved and held in the deepest depths on my brokenness. It’s in our brokenness that we can see the true power of the cross.” ♥️♥️♥️
Krissie, as usual, you nailed it. My heart is full of gratitude for you and your ministry in writing. ♥️ you!
The words “Thank You” don’t adequately express my gratitude for your writings. You are reaching up out of despair and encouraging so many. God be praised & may our God continue undergirding you with strength & wisdom.
Thank you for these words that hit me hard real good with solid soul encouragement that I have experienced and I am grateful to Him that you are have been with our sweet Savior! I love you dear Krissie!
There is something honestly beautiful about being so shattered and raw at the foot of the cross.
When everything seems stripped from you, His redemption stands there
It stands there directly in front of me, providing me the confidence that I am forgiven, loved and held in the deepest depths of my brokenness
the place where Jesus said “it is finished” and changed the world forever–the place He saw me at my worst and loved me enough to say, “I can endure one more minute.”
Death makes living more real.
He sacrificed His life so that I can stand here today in my desperation and have hope
-it is a Sunday to live and to keep on living
Krissie, u have no idea how far your words will reach and how many people u r going to bless every time u pick up ur pen. God bless u sweet lady. U have such a talent for writing that I am touched by each of ur blogs. I can see and feel the cross with u this Sunday and know that my Frank is in Heaven too. I long for the day when I can join him. I will pray for you Sunday as u take those precious babies to church. Thank u again for ur beautiful and inspiring words. ❤️❤️
Thank you.
Krissie,
The gift of your words here I tried to recapture are so beautiful stated of how the this dark time of Eric’s death has actually been the life that has brought you to actually experience the cross and the real Jesus for yourself!
I wouldn’t stop and feel so drawn to it. I would merely see it in passing and be thankful for it.
Now, as I look at it, I want to simply sit in silence and bow to the One who gave us life
Perhaps having lost someone who is so very dear to me helps me understand to a greater degree that the gospel message is undeniable and true.
Wow! You are drawn to the cross through this suffering you know your Savior and He knows you well not just your name! Such a beautiful redemption! From recognition to a deeper relationship with him! I can’t explain it! But I am so thrilled that this has happened in your walk with Christ and your heart and been opened to let Him transform you in this way
Precious Krissie,
Thank you for sharing.
Beautifully written. Continuing to lift you and your family in prayer.